03:59:01 Tuesday June 15 2004
I am back on a more human schedule. Castor came up yesterday. I ran Ravenloft. I killed John's character... er... John killed John's character. Whatever.

My favorite boss (I have many in ITaP/RCS) died over the weekend. He was an incredibly smart, funny, and driven guy. He will be sorely missed. Rest in peace David Moffett.

Today I ran down to Tipton to help my aunt fix a minor computer issue. The drive gave me time to contemplate and I picked up a strange melancholy as I did so. I learned last week that Castor will be moving to upstate New York in August. I also learned yesterday that Paul will be moving to Florida in mid-to-late July.

Now anyone who knows me will be inclined to believe that with all the changes recently I have fallen back into my older behavior patterns of fearing change. There is something to that. I must concede that while I have moved on I still feel those fears deep in the pit of my stomach. I like to think that I recognize them now and treat them as what they are.

I have come to something of a conclusion. I don't believe this melancholy is just old fears resurfacing. I have this odd feeling of being completely untethered. When I leave there will be no place to return to. My friends will be spread to the four winds. The center does not hold. You can never go home again. Not because the place no longer exists, but because everything about you and everything about the place will have changed by the time you return. [sorry, end of stupid angsty/introspective rant]